You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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