College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
