the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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