that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
