I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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