I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
