It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
