I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
