A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
