she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
