I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
