He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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