operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
