I'm going to rape someone's good day.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
