closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My vagina is officially offended.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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