Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Randomize