The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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