is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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