allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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