So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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