there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
