is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
