Cold hands, warm shart.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
