You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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