Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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