Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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