So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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