No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
