we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize