this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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