I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
