bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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