She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize