i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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