I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
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