well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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