so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm getting married
To pizza
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
