your room smells of hookers.
And success
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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