So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
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