How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
