Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
