chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
