he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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