i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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