New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Alive.
So much puke
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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