No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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