Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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