The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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