At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
