I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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