nut hugger
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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