And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
