90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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