bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
