I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
