It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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