I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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