make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I have post one night stand depression
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize