well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
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