holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
We had sex on a dog bed..
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
