I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
