We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize