I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
We were destined to go to rehab together
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
