I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
