4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
