I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
