So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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