If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
