Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
